Family Force 5
by Kgirl1
Summary: Alright, we've all thought about it! What would things be like if the Battle Force 5 really was a family? Now with Chapter Two!
1. SQUIRREL!

**Alright, this has been a general idea for some time now, so I figured I might as well make it official! FYI: AJ and Tezz are brothers and their cousins, because they're secondary members, and they're staying with the team while their parents go on vacation. Everyone else (but Sage) is VertxAgura's kids.**

**Sage: Grandma**

**Vert: Father**

**Agura: Mother**

**Stanford: Teenage Son**

**Sherman and Spinner: Twins, ten-ish.  
Zoom: BABY! *Squee* **

**AJ: Ten**

**Tezz: Teenager**

**Moral of the Story: Don't take home strange animals!**

"I want some water!" Sage whined.

"Sorry, mom, but you'll have to get it yourself." Vert panted as he chased a naked Spinner around their house. "SPINNER WHEELER! GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!"

"No way! Sherman paid me five bucks!" The child replied, streaking through the kitchen.

"Ew. Condoms like, existed when you tried to have them, right?" Stanford asked Agura, who was pouring orange juice and spreading peanut butter on five sandwiches while holding a sobbing Zoom.

"Stanford, do not use language like that in this house!" She scolded, cutting the sandwiches in half.

"You know I don't like peanut butter! And I told you a thousand times, cut it in diagonals!" Stanford groaned, putting in his earphones.

"I'll make you something else tomorrow." She sighed. "VERT! IS SPINNER DRESSED YET?"

"NO!" Her husband hollered back.

"HIS COUSINS WILL BE HERE IN FIVE MINUTES!" She yelled.

"Quiet down!" Sage adjusted her hearing aid. "You youngsters have no respect for your elders!"

"Sorry, Sage." Agura replied, putting the sandwiches in a picnic basket.

"Ew. Why do they have to come? Tezz is a fa-"

"Stanford…" Agura gave him a warning glare. "Maybe your cousins aren't the MOST agreeable people, but-"

"He used my science kit to make a stink bomb!" Sherman, who had been calmly finishing his eggs, spoke up.

"He didn't mean to." Agura tried to amend as Vert ran in with an upside-down Spinner.

"NO! MY FIVE BUCKS!" Spinner whined as his pants were yanked on.

"EW!" Sherman laughed. "It's his wee-wee!"

"Hey! You paid me!" Spinner argued when the doorbell rang, making Zoom begin to cry. Again.

"I'll get him a bottle." Agura whisked the screaming child away to his room as Vert answered the door.

"AJ! Tezz!" He tried to exclaim cheerfully. "How are my two favorite nephews?"

"HI UNCLE VERT!" AJ yelled, hugging him. Tezz simply raised a bored hand in acknowledgement.

"Quiet _down!_" Sage yelled. "I'm watching my soaps!"

"Grandma, turn it off, your grandkids are here." Vert nudged her.

"Which ones?" She glared, grabbing the remote.

"Uh….AJ!" Vert tried, and she turned off the show. "And Tezz." He added under his breath. Sage turned the TV back on.

"At least say hi!" Vert hissed.

"Hi Gwamma Sage!" AJ yelled, jumping next to her on the couch.

"Well hi there, AJ!" She hugged him and put on a cheery face until seeing Tezz walk by.

"Ugh. It's you." Stanford said sarcastically.

"You think I wanna be here?" Tezz rolled his eyes.

"Well, no one else wants you to, so…" Stanford retorted, and they began a glare-down as Agura re-emerged from the baby's room with a calm Zoom.

"AJ! Tezz! So great to see you again!" She said brightly, hugging both of them. AJ actually didn't mind. "Are your parents having fun on the cruise?"

"Well, we aren't there, so I'm sure." Tezz said sarcastically.

"Oh, that's not true." Agura good-naturedly ruffled his dark hair, and as soon as possible he annoyedly brushed it back in place.

"Wanna bet?" Stanford muttered.

"Stanford!" She exclaimed. "Anyway, I was thinking you kids might wanna go to the park for a picnic today?"

"No! I wanna play my video game!" Spinner whined.

"And Tezz hates the sun." Stanford added, to receive a gentle swat from Agura.

"I don't wanna go!" Sage whined, sounding more childish than any of them.

"You don't have to, mom." Vert gently reminded her, rolling his eyes on the inside.

"Well, fine, since you're making me." Sage grumbled, getting off the couch.

"Well, I thought it might be fun. Come on, let's go, kids." She said, and soon everyone was out the door.

"Can I push the stroller?" An especially-bouncy AJ asked.

"Uh…" Agura looked to Vert, who vigorously shook his head. "Sorry, but you can hold the picnic basket."

"Okay!" AJ exclaimed, running up to talk to the twins.

"Slow down!" Sage complained from the back.

"Stanford, Tezz, go help your grandma." Vert suggested.

"What'd the old bat ever do for me?" Stanford grumbled.

"Finally something we agree on." Tezz added as they went to help.

"Hey! Hey hey hey! Look what Sherman found!" Spinner ran up to Vert and Agura, holding a frog. It jumped out of his hand and right onto baby Zoom's chest.

"GAAAAH!" He screamed.

"Oops." Spinner grinned sheepishly as Vert reached in to retrieve the amphibian and Agura rocked Zoom.

"It's fine." Vert said, handing it back. "Just, make sure you wash your hands, okay?"

"OKAY!" Spinner yelled happily, again upsetting Zoom.

"Gaaahhh!" The child whined.

"It's okay, baby." Agura cooed, then gave Vert a glare. "Wash your hands? Really?"

"Well, what was I supposed to say?" He defended.

"Try "don't pick up strange animals your brother finds on the side of the road!"  
Agura hinted.

"Alright. You're in charge." He joked.

"And don't you ever forget it!" She replied when AJ ran up.

"Spinner won't let me hold his frog!" He sobbed.

"Trust me, sweetie, you don't want to hold that frog." Agura comforted. "It probably peed all over them."

AJ brightened at this, running back to the twins. "YOU'RE HOLDING FROG PEE! HA!"

Agura groaned. "Let's stop here, boys." She grabbed a large blanket from underneath the stroller, spreading it on the ground.

"I don't wanna sit there! You're crazy!" Sage complained.

"Why not?" Agura asked patiently.

"There's a tree there." Sage stated.

"Yes…?" Agura responded in confusion.

"I hate trees. Find a new spot!" Sage decreed, moving on. After another ten minutes, she picked out a spot she liked and they began eating.

"Peanut butter…" Stanford shook his head in disgust. "Ick."

"Hey! It's yummy!" AJ replied, finishing the sandwich in six bites. "Can I have another one, Auntie?"

"Sorry, AJ, I didn't-"

"Here." Stanford handed his sandwich to AJ as if it were no more than a dead fish.

"YAY!" AJ cried, digging in.

"Come on, Zoom! Eat it up!" Agura tried to feed the baby to no avail.

"Gah." HE shook his head.

"But you'll grow big and strong!" Agura tried again, holding the spoon in front of him.

"GAH!" Zoom whined, pointing at an applesauce.

"Eh. Close enough." Agura shrugged, feeding him that instead.

"Gah!" He babbled happily.

"Mhm." Agura nodded, somehow completely understanding.

"I wanna play at the pa-ark!" Spinner sang.

"Eat your carrots first." Vert instructed, and Spinner pouted.

"Don't wanna."

"Then you can't play at the park…" Agura hinted, and Spinner stuffed all three carrots into his cheeks.

"EM WEADI TAR PWAY NAOW!" He managed through the mouthful.

"Me too!" Sherman and AJ chorused. "Jinx! Double Jinx! Triple Jinx! You owe me a soda! No, you!"

"Go play kids." Agura laughed. "Tezz, Stanford? Don't you wanna play?" Both shook their heads instantly.

"I'll work on my tan." Stanford remarked, stretching out in the sun.

"Aw, you'll get skin cancer for sure if you try any harder to turn that milk skin into coffee." Sage muttered cynically.

"Oi! At least I try!" Stanford not-too-subtly gestured at Tezz.

"Hmph." Tezz muttered.

"Hey, Zoom, do you wanna go down a slide?" Agura cooed.

"Gah!" Zoom nodded, and she carried him over to the play structure.

"You know boys, when I was your age…" Sage began to fill the silence, and Tezz and Stanford both jumped up.

"ThanksGrandmabutIthinkI'llgoplaynowBYE!" They stammered as they made their escape.

"Ah, young 'uns." Sage sighed wistfully, then looked to Vert, who had unsuccessfully tried to sneak away.

"Anyway, when I was that young I still remember…" Sage began one of her notorious "back in the day" stories and Vert stifled a groan.

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"Can you tell me a bedtime story?" AJ, sleeping on a cot in Sherman and Spinner's room, asked Agura.

"Sure." She replied, pulling out a book.

"Not that one!" Spinner complained. Agura sighed; going through several books before all three could agree on anything.

"Alright, once upon a time…" She began, and towards the end of the book all three pairs of eyes were drooping. She kissed each child on the forehead, then went to check on Zoom.

"Night sweetie." She said softly.

"Gah!" He pointed to his bookshelf.

"Okay, but just one." Agura smiled, pulling out one of his favorites while Vert peeked in on Stanford and Tezz.

"I'm just saying, it's my bed!"

"But I'm the guest, therefore more important than you, no?"

"You've always thought you were more important than me no matter what the situation!"

"Can I help that I think in fact?"

"Just sleep on the floor!"

"I refuse! You, as the host, should give me your bed!" Tezz said as Vert walked in.

"Stanford, we went over this. Tezz sleeps in your bed, and you take the air mattress." The blonde lectured.

"But it's MY bed! I don't want him getting his jizz all over it!" Stanford protested.

"Like I want to sleep in your jizz-drenched bed!" Tezz retorted.

"Just go to bed, boys." Vert sighed, leaving to join Agura in their bedroom.

"Their parents will be back in four days." She sighed, giving him a kiss.

"Four days too many." Vert grumbled, laying down.

"I'M COLD!" They heard Sage yell from the next room.

"PUT ON A BLANKET, MA!" Vert shouted back.

"BUT THEN I'LL BE HOT!"

"TURN ON THE FAN!"

"I CAN'T REACH!"

"GOODNIGHT, MOM!"

"I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YOUNG MAN!"

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"Morning Sage." Agura managed a grin through the three hours of sleep she had gotten between retrieving multiple glasses of water, breaking up a fight between Stanford and Tezz, and comforting Zoom, whom their yelling had awoken.

"You're stirring those too fast!" Sage replied, in her way of saying hello. Agura sighed, beating the soon-to-be-scrambled eggs more slowly.

"No, no, that's too slow. Gimme that!" Sage snatched the whisk from Agura and began beating the eggs, then pouring the mixture onto a skillet.

"Hmph. Fancy gadgets. I used to cook my eggs over a fire I did!" She muttered to herself. Agura sighed, tuning into Spinner and AJ's conversation.

"I dare ya." Spinner began.

"Ew!" AJ cried.

"I'll give you my new Bakugan." Spinner challenged.

"Oh…..fine!" AJ gave in, taking his orange juice glass and pouring some into his nose.

"BWAHAHAHA!" Spinner began cracking up as his cousin coughed, scrunching his nose up in disgust.

"Grooosss!" Sherman yelled, and he high-fived his twin.

"Give be da Bakuhgun." AJ snorted out through coughs and laughter. Spinner gladly handed it over.

"Boys! He could have choked!" Agura lectured, trying to suppress a grin.

"Sorry." Spinner said in a way that suggested he was not at all sorry.

"Here's your eggs." Sage slid a helping onto everyone's plates. "If your wife hadn't beaten them so fast they might have actually turned out." She said to Vert, who rolled his eyes.

"Mom, be nice."

"I'm just saying, you young people don't know what it means to cook these days!" Sage replied, sitting down.

"Well, I think _my wife_ does a great job." Vert kissed Agura's cheek, and she smiled at him.

"Why does your mother have to live with us again?" She whispered.

"Agura!" Vert lectured.

"I'm kidding." She apologized.

"Did I tell you about the time when-"

"YES." Everyone cut Sage off.

"Well, I guess I'll go tell my stories to someone else." She grumbled.

"You could tell them to our pet squirrel!" AJ exclaimed, then got a hand over his mouth from Spinner.

"What pet squirrel?" Vert and Agura both yelled.

"Good question. Uhm,wedon'treallyhaveonesoyay!." Spinner babbled, stuffing his mouth with eggs.

"Sherman…Where's the squirrel?" Agura asked, leaving no room for a lie.

"Uhm….inourroom." He mumbled, earning death glares from his cousin and twin. "Sorry!"

"Why don't you show us where this squirrel is?" Vert suggested.

"Alright." AJ lead them into their room, where a crazed-looking squirrel was running around in a large plastic storage bin with the lid off.

"Oh my….boys! Where did you get a SQUIRREL?" Agura shrieked, jumping back a bit. "You know, nevermind…" She said after taking a few hard sniffs.

"Couldn't that jump out of the-" Vert began as the squirrel lunged straight out of the box and toward his throat.

"OH SHI-!"


	2. ROAD TRIP!

**Okay, Family Force 5 is back by popular demand here! Thank you for reviewing this ONE-SHOT….*glares* Haha, jk. Anyway, this is an RP of every family's greatest fear…Long car rides. Wish our team luck! **

Tezz: *listening to the music*

Spinner: I'm hungry!

Stanford: That must really suck.

Vert: Stanford, be nice…

Sherman: Are we there yet?

AJ: I need to pee!

Agura: We'll pull over in a few minutes.

AJ: But I need to pee NOW!

Tezz: *pulls out headphone* WE'RE ON A HIGHWAY, DO YOU _SEE_ A GAS

STATION ANYWHERE?

AJ: *whimpers* No, but I…

Spinner: Just hold it!

AJ: I can't!

Sherman: He can go on the side of the road…

Spinner: EW! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY GERMS ARE OUT THERE, FOO?

Sage: Just let the boy take a whaz so he can shut up! I'm reading here! *Holding upside-

down newspaper*

Sherman: Uh, Grandma, that's…

Sage: What? DO I TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE?

Sherman: *shrinks into seat*

Sage: *resumes reading* Aw, Lohan's in rehab again…

AJ: Oh! What's rehab, Gwamma?

Sage: Well, sweetie, it's a place where crack-heads go because they're too high to live a normal life. Then, after eight weeks, they act like they've had a breakthrough, make a bunch of money and then go get hammered all over again!

Vert and Agura: SAGE!

Sage: What? *shrugs*

AJ: What's getting hammered?

Vert: *glares at Sage* Don't you DARE, Mom!

Sage: Fine! It's when you're so drunk, a giant hammer falls out of the sky and hits you on the head. *Sticks out tongue at Vert*

AJ: OH! I DON'T WANT THAT!

Stanford: Eh, wait until high school…

Sherman: Are we there YET?

Spinner: *trying to read Sage's newspaper* Oh! Gramma, what's…pro-bat-ee-on? (Probation)

Sage: *pats his head* You'll find out when you're older, sweetie…

Vert and Agura: *whip heads around* SAGE!

Sage: *glares and takes out a book instead*

AJ: I really needa go, Uncle Vert!

Vert: AJ, I told you, there aren't any gas stations for another four miles! Hold it!

AJ: What if I can't?

Stanford: *hands him a towel*

AJ: *takes the towel and starts unbuttoning pants, then shoves the towel into his pants*

Sherman: O.O….Hey, are we there yet?

AJ: Hey Uncle Vert?

Vert: Yeah, AJ?

AJ: I don't have to go anymore…

All: *stare at AJ*

Tezz: Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Stanford: Oh, like _you_ would know!

Tezz: EH! *slaps the back of Stanford's head because he's sitting behind him* SHUT UP!

Stanford: OW! *turns around so that he's facing Tezz and rips out an earphone* OOOOH! THIS BE SOME NAUGHTY MUSIC, TEZZ!

Tezz: *blushes and yanks the earphone back* LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!

Stanford: HEY, I DON-….well, okay….

Agura: TEZZ! STANFORD!

Both: WHAT?

Agura: *facepalms*

AJ: Hey Tezz? What does the "man gotta do" when he's done using the towel?

Tezz: Typically burns it.

AJ: *looks at towel and shrugs* Okay, but Daddy says I can't use matches yet so can you hold it for me? *tosses towel at Tezz*

Tezz: *Towel lands in lap* UGHGAAGAHG! HIS URINE IS ON MY PANTS!

Stanford: *Dying from laughter*

Tezz: O.o (Eye twitch) YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY? *wraps towel around Stanford's head*

Stanford: *Screams* MY FACE, MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!

Vert: STOP THROWING AROUND AJ'S PEE TOWEL! *grabs towel and chucks it out the window*

All: *freeze*

Spinner:…So can we get some food now?

All kids: YAY!

Agura: *sighs* Okay, there's a McDonald's on that exit.

Stanford: I would rather eat AJ's pee towel than anything that comes from that greasy, fattening-

Spinner: HAPPY MEALS! *Pushes on Vert's seat* GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!

Vert: GAH! *swerves*

Car next to them that Vert almost hit: *honks*

Vert: *rolls down window and yells* SORRY!

Car: *honks again*

Sage: *rolls down her window and sticks up middle finger* Yeah, you want some of this, BETCH?

Spinner: GRANDMA!

Vert: SAGE!

AJ: SQUIRREL!

All: *immediately turn to windows and stare*

Sage: *sneakily turns around and flips off the other car again*

Agura: *notices* Sage…

Sage: *sticks out tongue and resumes reading*

LATER….

Sherman: Are we ther-

All: NO.

Spinner: MOM, AJ GOT MORE FRIES THAN ME!

Sage: So steal some!

Vert: Mom!

Sage: That's how we did it when I was a kid.

Spinner: *tries to sneak one of AJ's fries*

AJ: NO! *Hits Spinner's hand*

Spinner: Ow! *Hits AJ back*

Both: *start a slap fight*

Sage: *Takes both their Happy Meals and starts eating all their fries* NOMNOMNOM

Sherman: Are we there yet?

Agura: No, sweetie.

Spinner and AJ: *Stop fighting and reach for Happy Meals*

Spinner: Hey, who ate all my fries? TEZZ! *Glares at Tezz and starts beating him up*

Tezz: WHAT THE-

Agura: *Death glares*

Tezz: *gulps* Uhm…fudge? STOP HITTING ME! *Steals Spinner's toy*

Spinner: NO! *Tries to steal it back*

Tezz: *Passes toy to Stanford*

Stanford: *Hands it to AJ*

AJ: *Passes it to Sherman*

Sherman, Tezz, Stanford, AJ, Spinner: *Arms tangled and fighting for toy* GAH!

Vert: *Reaches back and snatches toy, hits all five of them with it, and then takes it back*

All: HEY!

Vert: *Chucks toy out the window*

Spinner: M-my-MY TOY! *Starts kicking Vert's seat*

Vert: Hey? Spinner? HEY!

Sage: Hey, SHUT UP. *Puts legs on top of Spinner's so he can't kick them*

Spinner: Awwwww! *Pauses, then starts singing* Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of bee-

Agura: *gasps* SPINNER! WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT SONG!

Spinner: *points at Tezz*

Tezz: *points at Stanford*

Stanford: *points at Zoom (Sleeping the whole trip)*

Zoom: *Wakes up* GA!

Agura: *facepalms*

Sherman: *Pauses* Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii….inety-eight bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-eight bottles of beeeeeeeerrrrrrr!

All: TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, NINETY-SEVEN BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!

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Sherman: Are we there yet?

All: NO!

**Okay, reviewers, you asked, I answered. Feedback WILL determine how many chapters this story has!**


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